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| Alright...new xanga...did it because I was bored, and for the month of free premium, but I don't think I actually got a month of free premium...but hey, since I have a new one, I'll just go ahead and use it. So subscribe, my xanga friends!!!
www.xanga.com/CommandarMandar | | |
| - - I am a monstrous bastard who loves to conquer octupi!!!! This is funny because I've always thought octupi was the funniest word in the world. Can you imagine turning on the news and hearing "four local teenagers are in critical condition after being attacked by a pod of giant octupi?" If I heard that news report I would just laugh.
::EDIT, 9:44p.m.::
SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| "I love you"
So much lost and so much gained in those three words. | | |
| I'm at home in Fulton. Exciting times run rampant here...oh wait...that's not what happens in Fulton, that's what happens in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. In Fulton, it's all boring all the time. Since I've gotten here I've written two papers, eaten a really delicious dinner that is making me very very sleepy, and then Joel called to see if he could come hang out with me. Boo to homework, and yay to good food and friends! Man I'm tired...wow. | | |
| It's not easy to be me sometimes. I deal with it. I put on a happy face and pretend like everything's okay. But I get sick of it. I'm sick of depression...I wish there was just some way to make it go away. But there's not. I'll be stuck with it my whole life. I guess I try to just look at it as a way to feel grateful for the days I do feel happy. But sometimes the days I do feel happy are kind of like a tease...because I know that there's no way I can ensure that I'll always feel that way. And I'm not just talking about having a bad day or a bad week every once in awhile...it's completely different from that. I know that sooner or later, my days will start to look darker and darker and the constant unsettled feelings and sadness will come creeping back in and swallow me up, and there will be no way for me to escape. It's always lurking just around the next bend, and even if I walk on pins and needles trying to avoid it, somewhere along the lines I lose strength and I just break and fall back into it. I don't want to live like that anymore. Life's no fun knowing that you'll always have to hurt. I wish I could change it. You Fail Me said it right: "every single day's the same, prozac only dulls the pain, fear and doubt that never go away."
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http://hometown.aol.com/joyofsmra/images/hot%20pink%20rose.jpg
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